An old friend of mine from high school who has a successful psychiatry practice in upstate New York recently published a blog post on addiction that got me thinking… What is the tipping point at which something is no longer a hobby, an interest, or even a way of life – but becomes an addiction?

Can one be addicted to running?

Dr. Ferraioli points out in his post that addictions “…DISCONNECT us from ourselves and from our real lives; and that includes the people in our lives such as our children, our spouses, our friends, and our communities, among others.”

Many of us use running to escape. For me, it’s a brief period in the day where I can clear my head and find respite from everything else that’s going on. And I think that’s a very healthy thing. Everyone needs time to “recenter” and many of us find that time running.

But can you take it too far?

As with anything else in life, the key to success is balance. Ask yourself, does your running strengthen your family relationships or strain them? Is your family included in your running goals, or does your running make your family feel excluded? Does running bring you closer to the ones you love, or does it disconnect you?

If you find yourself on the wrong side of the balance, now is the time to take action. Talk to your family. Include them. Listen to them. Value them. And then take another look at your training plan and make sure that it gives you the balance you need. Unless you’re a professional athlete, it’s OK to cut back on your training. It’s OK to not hit a PR every time. It’s OK to give yourself a break for the sake of your family.

My family has had a very busy summer this year. I’ve been lucky to log two runs a week lately, and I’m happy with that.

I hope to run well into my old age, but I know that the day will come when I will no longer be able to run. My joints will be too old and my muscles too weak. I expect that when that day comes I will not regret a single missed run, failed training plan, unshed pound, or cancelled race. Instead, I will cherish the extra time I got to spend with my family, and hope that we grew to be a stronger family because of it.

The Santa Shuffle — Chicago, IL

If hundreds of runners in Santa suits don’t motivate you, then I don’t know what will!

When you’re running a family, it’s hard to find time to run. And it’s easy to make excuses not to.

“I have an early meeting, so I can’t run in the morning.“
“I don’t know what people at work will think, so I can’t run at lunch.“
“I’m too tired, so I can’t run in the evening.”

Finding or forming a group (like the “Lunch Ladies”) is a great way to keep yourself from falling prey to your excuses. If you know other people are expecting you to be there, you’ll be less likely to wimp out. (if you didn’t click the Rachel Ray Show link earlier to watch the video, now would be a good time)

And even if you don’t run with a group, you can use friends and family to keep you on track. Tell them your fitness goals. Tell them how often you want to work out. And then ask them to check in on you and keep you honest. Of course, if they’re good friends, they would never make you feel bad for missing a run here and there. After all, running should be a way to improve fitness and relieve stress — not add to your already high stress level. But just knowing that they know you want to run, and that they support your fitness goals, will make you run more and run better.

Finding a wacky race is also a great way to shake it up and add some fun to your routine! There are lots of great local races like the Santa Shuffle all over the place. All you have to do is find them, and then sign up! Sometimes they can be tricky to find, so if you know of one go ahead and post it in the comments!

Then take your family along with you, and have a great time together!

Is it just me, or was running really a lot easier BC (Before Children)? Back in the BC era, there seemed to be so much more flexibility and time for running. But now that I’m in the AD era (American Dad), things are different. With dropping off and picking up kids from school, taking them to soccer practice and other activities, parent-teacher conferences, school volunteer activities, and everything else that goes on in American family life, I’m usually logging miles in the minivan instead of in my running shoes. So how does one find time to run without compromising family commitments? Here are a few tips.

Make running a team effort

If you and your spouse both run, then it’s not just you. Your spouse is feeling the same pressures to balance family, work, and working out that you are. Have you talked about it together? That’s the first place to start. In order to successfully fit running into your family life, you can’t make all the decisions on your own. Make some time – maybe even get a babysitter go out for a nice dinner together – and talk to each other about your individual and your family fitness goals.

You should both agree on what priority running and fitness takes in your individual lives, and on how much time to devote to it. You should also agree on what priority running and fitness takes in your family’s life, and how you want to promote it. If you want your children to grow up with a love for fitness, then they need to see it in practice as a cooperative team effort – not just something that either Dad or Mom does. If your children can see you make trade-offs to make sure your partner has time to work out too, then they will learn by example to respect the needs of others.

Take turns running

Unless you’re an elite runner, you probably don’t need to run every day. Three or four days a week is plenty. You may not hit a PR each time you race, but in the grand scheme of things how important is that really? I trained for my last marathon running only three or four days each week and completed the marathon in 3:45. It wasn’t a PR for me, but it was good enough. And if you only run three or four days each week, you can then take turns with your spouse so that both of you have time to work out.

One good approach is to swap mornings. One of you runs or works out first thing in the morning while the other gets the kids ready for school. Running first thing in the morning is great because it means all of those surprises that come up during the day and steal your time won’t have a chance to pop up before you get your run in. And by taking turns, you each get to spend time in the morning with the kids so that no one parent has to bear the brunt of getting the family going in the morning.

You can also take turns with challenging races. You don’t have to both train for a big race at the same time. You can sacrifice a few days here and there so that your spouse can focus on her race. Then after you’ve supported her and cheered her to the finish, she can recover and skip a few days while you train for your race. Choosing a race and taking turns makes it easier to figure out who has to give a little when other commitments compete for your training time.

Run at lunch

If your employer supports physical fitness (something which more and more employers are supporting nowadays), then make full use of their policy and do your running at lunchtime! It’s a fabulous way to de-stress and refocus in the middle of your hectic workday. After your run you’ll return to work refreshed and energized, and you may even find that some great ideas came your way during your run.

One problem that lunchtime runners encounter frequently is lunchtime meetings. The first thing you need to do is block out your running time on your work calendar so that people know you are busy. The second thing you need to do is tell the people you work with that running is very important to you, that your employer supports physical fitness, and that you like to run at lunch. The third thing you need to do is be a little flexible. If you have an important client meeting, or if lunch is the only time you can get a group of key people together, then it won’t hurt you to skip a day here and there. But if you find yourself skipping your lunchtime runs regularly, then ask yourself if lunch is really the best time for you.

What if your employer doesn’t support physical fitness? Well, the last thing you want to do is sneak out to go running. That’s a good way to get fired (which would then give you plenty of time to run…). If your employer doesn’t support physical fitness, your choices are to find another time of the day to do your running, or get with your co-workers and find out how many other people there are who value fitness as much as you do. If you can band together and present your case professionally (fit employees are happy employees, fit employees take less sick days, fit employees have lower medical bills…), then maybe you can persuade your employer to change their policy. A good place to start is usually HR.

Keep running in perspective

Regardless of which approach you choose to take, remember what role you decided running should play in the life of your family and children, and keep it in perspective. By agreeing on your approach in advance, you’ll find that you really will be running with your family commitments, and not running from your family commitments.