Run­ning with fam­ily commitments

Is it just me, or was run­ning really a lot eas­ier BC (Before Chil­dren)? Back in the BC era, there seemed to be so much more flex­i­bil­ity and time for run­ning. But now that I’m in the AD era (Amer­i­can Dad), things are dif­fer­ent. With drop­ping off and pick­ing up kids from school, tak­ing them to soc­cer prac­tice and other activ­i­ties, parent-​​teacher con­fer­ences, school vol­un­teer activ­i­ties, and every­thing else that goes on in Amer­i­can fam­ily life, I’m usu­ally log­ging miles in the mini­van instead of in my run­ning shoes. So how does one find time to run with­out com­pro­mis­ing fam­ily com­mit­ments? Here are a few tips.

Make run­ning a team effort

If you and your spouse both run, then it’s not just you. Your spouse is feel­ing the same pres­sures to bal­ance fam­ily, work, and work­ing out that you are. Have you talked about it together? That’s the first place to start. In order to suc­cess­fully fit run­ning into your fam­ily life, you can’t make all the deci­sions on your own. Make some time – maybe even get a babysit­ter go out for a nice din­ner together – and talk to each other about your indi­vid­ual and your fam­ily fit­ness goals.

You should both agree on what pri­or­ity run­ning and fit­ness takes in your indi­vid­ual lives, and on how much time to devote to it. You should also agree on what pri­or­ity run­ning and fit­ness takes in your family’s life, and how you want to pro­mote it. If you want your chil­dren to grow up with a love for fit­ness, then they need to see it in prac­tice as a coöper­a­tive team effort – not just some­thing that either Dad or Mom does. If your chil­dren can see you make trade-​​offs to make sure your part­ner has time to work out too, then they will learn by exam­ple to respect the needs of others.

Take turns running

Unless you’re an élite run­ner, you prob­a­bly don’t need to run every day. Three or four days a week is plenty. You may not hit a PR each time you race, but in the grand scheme of things how impor­tant is that really? I trained for my last marathon run­ning only three or four days each week and com­pleted the marathon in 3:45. It wasn’t a PR for me, but it was good enough. And if you only run three or four days each week, you can then take turns with your spouse so that both of you have time to work out.

One good approach is to swap morn­ings. One of you runs or works out first thing in the morn­ing while the other gets the kids ready for school. Run­ning first thing in the morn­ing is great because it means all of those sur­prises that come up dur­ing the day and steal your time won’t have a chance to pop up before you get your run in. And by tak­ing turns, you each get to spend time in the morn­ing with the kids so that no one par­ent has to bear the brunt of get­ting the fam­ily going in the morning.

You can also take turns with chal­leng­ing races. You don’t have to both train for a big race at the same time. You can sac­ri­fice a few days here and there so that your spouse can focus on her race. Then after you’ve sup­ported her and cheered her to the fin­ish, she can recover and skip a few days while you train for your race. Choos­ing a race and tak­ing turns makes it eas­ier to fig­ure out who has to give a lit­tle when other com­mit­ments com­pete for your train­ing time.

Run at lunch

If your employer sup­ports phys­i­cal fit­ness (some­thing which more and more employ­ers are sup­port­ing nowa­days), then make full use of their pol­icy and do your run­ning at lunchtime! It’s a fab­u­lous way to de-​​stress and refo­cus in the mid­dle of your hec­tic work­day. After your run you’ll return to work refreshed and ener­gized, and you may even find that some great ideas came your way dur­ing your run.

One prob­lem that lunchtime run­ners encounter fre­quently is lunchtime meet­ings. The first thing you need to do is block out your run­ning time on your work cal­en­dar so that peo­ple know you are busy. The sec­ond thing you need to do is tell the peo­ple you work with that run­ning is very impor­tant to you, that your employer sup­ports phys­i­cal fit­ness, and that you like to run at lunch. The third thing you need to do is be a lit­tle flex­i­ble. If you have an impor­tant client meet­ing, or if lunch is the only time you can get a group of key peo­ple together, then it won’t hurt you to skip a day here and there. But if you find your­self skip­ping your lunchtime runs reg­u­larly, then ask your­self if lunch is really the best time for you.

What if your employer doesn’t sup­port phys­i­cal fit­ness? Well, the last thing you want to do is sneak out to go run­ning. That’s a good way to get fired (which would then give you plenty of time to run…). If your employer doesn’t sup­port phys­i­cal fit­ness, your choices are to find another time of the day to do your run­ning, or get with your co-​​workers and find out how many other peo­ple there are who value fit­ness as much as you do. If you can band together and present your case pro­fes­sion­ally (fit employ­ees are happy employ­ees, fit employ­ees take less sick days, fit employ­ees have lower med­ical bills…), then maybe you can per­suade your employer to change their pol­icy. A good place to start is usu­ally HR.

Keep run­ning in perspective

Regard­less of which approach you choose to take, remem­ber what role you decided run­ning should play in the life of your fam­ily and chil­dren, and keep it in per­spec­tive. By agree­ing on your approach in advance, you’ll find that you really will be run­ning with your fam­ily com­mit­ments, and not run­ning from your fam­ily commitments.

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